Jordan's Book
by MadameProngs10
Summary: Jordan Pike's autobiography from when he was in eighth grade, inspired by the Portrait Collections. On temporary hiatus.
1. Premise

**Chapter One**

"There was the time we took apart our tricycles." Byron suggested, ripping open the pack of Oreo's on the kichen table and grabbing two.

"Yeah," Adam agreed, helping himself to one of Byron's Oreo's. "But you're really not going to include that, are you?" He shoved the Oreo in his mouth and took a drink of his milk.

"Why not?" Byron frowned, not even seeming to notice that he was now one Oreo short. It wasn't like what Adam had done was unusual. Besides, Byron still had the whole pack in front of him. "I think it would be a great addition to --"

Adam and I exchanged a look across the table and rolled our eyes. "Nerds," we both coughed at the same time, causing Byron to frown.

We laughed; that actually hadn't been planned. Adam, Byron, and I are triplets. Identical triplets, actually. We never really went through the stage of dressing alike, but we've always been pretty close. Inseperable at times, even. Still, it wasn't too common for us to do the same thing at the same time. Not anymore, anyway.

We've always been different, although some people have had trouble noticing the differences in our personalities. Maybe they just can't get over how, well... _identical_ we are. Adam and I are often lumped together, although most people seem to notice right away that Byron is different. Probably because of Byron's disposition. While Adam and I are often a bit louder, admittedly, and bolder, Byron is calm in comparision.... a good balance, I guess. Adam and I take it upon ourselves to make sure Byron is never _too_ calm, though. We can't have that.

Now, back to why people probably lump Adam and me together so often. We're both great athletes, for one. I would apologize for bragging, but confidence is a good thing. Besides, it's true. No use in pretending to be modest. Adam is awesome at hockey -- seriously, it's like he was born to play. Baseball is my thing. We all play, and we have for as long as I can remember. We're also all pretty good at it, if I say so myself. It started out as T-ball, and then went on to Little League, where we played for the Rockets. Now we're on the SMS (Stoneybrook Middle School) team, and the coach said he can probably get us on the SHS (Stoneybrook High School) team. They always take a few eighth graders.

Right, I'll move on now... before this whole autobiography thing turns into a memoir: my relationship with baseball. Hey, maybe I should ask Ms. Belcher if I can write a memoir instead. It would be shorter. Then again, maybe not... I'd probably end up describing every game I remember playing.

Whoa, time to back up... !

This is the first time I've mentioned the autobiography project, isn't it? Yeah... we all have to write our autobiographies. Which sucks. It even sucks more than Nicky (or, as he likes to be called now, Nick... but he'll never be "Nick" to me).

So I guess you might be wondering who Nicky is. He's one of my seven siblings -- yes, I said seven. Get over it. His real name is Nicholas, and he's a sixth grader at SMS. He has a thing with wanting to follow us around... "us" being Byron, Adam, and me. He wears glasses and looks like a total dork, but he's a good kid. I guess. Just highly annoying. Like a fly that won't go away or a mosquito bite that won't stop itching. Only worse.

Adam, Byron, and Nicky are my only brothers. The other four siblings I have are girls. Unless you count Pow (our dog) and Frodo (our hamster), that is.... which I wouldn't. That would be retarded.

Mallory is the only sibling I have that is older than me. I'm even older than Adam and Byron. Okay, so I'm forty seconds older than Adam and about two minutes older than Byron -- it still counts! Anyway, Mal has curly red hair and used to wear glasses and braces. Thank God Mom and Dad gave in and let her get contacts. You wouldn't believe how dweeby she looked. It was pretty pathetic -- even I felt sorry for her. She went away to boarding school for sixth grade, but came back to Stoneybrook for high school. She's a year older than me, although Mom and Dad treat her like she's five years older instead. Playing favorites a bit there, right? All in all, she's not the worst big sister to have. Just nerdy. Kind of like Steve Urkel without the suspenders. Okay, not really, but that mental image made me laugh.

Next is Vanessa. She's a year younger than me. Up until she was about ten, she went through this stage where she was constantly rhyming. She has brown hair and blue eyes, like everyone else in the family (except Mallory Urkel, haha). She used to wear glasses as well, but Mom and Dad let her get contacts the same time they let Mallory. Pretty unfair to Mal since she had to wait two years longer, but Vanessa was elated. If I had to spend one full day with one of my sisters, I would choose Vanessa hands-down. We're not super-close, but at least she wouldn't try to act like my mother the whole time (unlike Mallory). As far as Margo and Claire, my other two sisters, well... we're getting to them.

Margo is ten-years-old and in fifth grade at SES (Stoneybrook Elementary School). "Loudest sister" is a toss-up between her and Claire. Margo is known for being bossy. She's constantly telling everyone what to do, and when and how to do it. I really don't know why she bothers wasting her breath. Not like anyone besides Claire ever listens to her. Still, she tries... I think she wants to be like Kristy Thomas. Or Hitler. Same thing.

Claire is the youngest at eight years of age. She's the baby of the family: plain and simple. For the most part, everyone gives her exactly what she wants whenever she wants it. She's a true bundle of energy.... like Energizer Bunny or something. Claire is very... persistent. She knows if she keeps at it for long enough, people usually give her what she wants just so she'll shut up. She's also easily distracted, which comes in handy. She can be sweet, sure... but about as annoying as Nicky. And Margo. Luckily, they don't really bother me too much... they know they're getting in over their heads when they mess with me.

I guess I could have gotten worse parents. There really aren't too many rules here. If you're under twelve, you have to be in bed at ten, but you don't have to go to sleep unless you want to. If you're under nine, same thing only you have to be in bed by eight. If you're twelve or older, then you're pretty much free to go to bed whenever you want. Be home by ten on school nights, and by one on weekends -- until you graduate middle school, in which case you don't even have a curfew on weekends. Yeah... my parents are pretty liberal. I'm not complaining about it.

Now that I've told you about my abnormally large family, we'll get back to what I was talking about. So.... I would just refuse to do this autobiography project and tell Ms. Belcher (my English teacher) to get over it, but I can't risk being kicked off the baseball team. That would be a great loss for the entire team. I'm the MVP, afterall. So I'm stuck summing up my life story in thirteen chapters. Yipee.

That's why Byron was talking about the time we took our tricycles apart. He wanted dibs on that memory, I guess. You see, Ms. Belcher is making us tell each other which memories we're choosing so we don't all have identical autobiographies. I don't think she gets that we all have our own lives, rather than sharing one life. There we go being lumped together again.

Sure, we have quite a bit of memories together, but we're all different. As long as I'm forced to write this autobiography, I'm going to give it a purpose. Being a triplet is awesome, but I want Ms. Belcher to understand at least one thing by the time she's done reading. This isn't the autobiography of a Pike triplet: this is the life story Jordan Pike.

And let me tell you... he's one jammin' dude.

**A/N**: This autobiography was inspired by stoneybrook_rpg on livejournal, where I play Jordan Pike. The actual autobiography will start in the next chapter -- just like in the Portrait Collection books. : ) A friend of mine pointed out that it's ironic for Jordan to have one before Mallory. Anyway, I'm a bit Jordan obsessed. I made him a Complete Guide, and a link can be found on my author's page on here if anyone else is actually interested. Last thing: Adam and Byron's lack of a detailed description was done completely on purpose -- ever heard the saying 'show, don't tell?' Well, you're going to be seeing a lot of them in the chapters to come... :D

Sorry for long author notes, promise the others won't be as long. The second chapter will either be up tomorrow or Friday. Let me know what you think so far! : )


	2. The Cool Kids

Even though I had never seen them, the fifth grade kids that ruled the playground at SES were my heroes. Mallory came home talking about them all the time when she was in her first year at SES. She complained about how they always got their way, about how everyone just always listened to them, but I thrived on those stories. When it was finally my turn to start kindergarten, I had one goal: to be one of them by the time I was a fifth grader myself. And I didn't waste any time.

We had all been placed in the same class that year; the principal thought we were too used to being with each other to be separated in our first year of school. She said she wanted to use the first year or two to let us get used to SES, then slowly ease us apart. Whatever.

Although I was practically bouncing off the walls in excitement on the morning before our first day at the thought of somehow managing to already rise to the top of SES, but Byron was looking pretty nervous. Adam, even at age five, looked indifferent. He was elated about getting to play all day, but he was worried the teachers just made us play those games as a way of tricking us into learning something. He had seen some kid on the television say school was over-rated. None of us were sure what that meant, but Adam decided it didn't sound very good.

I sped through my breakfast, ignoring my brothers' behavior, and we arrived at school about half an hour later.

"All the cool kids walk inside by themselves." I informed my mom matter-of-factly as we stood outside of the huge building. I took in the surroundings in awe as I observed the older kids running inside and wondered which ones were the cool kids that Mallory had told me about.

"Oh, really?" Mom laughed, bending down to mess up my hair. I scowled at her. She just didn't get it. I had to make a good first impression if I wanted to be one of the cool kids someday. I didn't want to be a loser like Mallory.

I shot Adam and Byron a meaningful look, and they quickly agreed with me -- even though Adam still looked suspicious as he eyed the school and Byron looked as if they were going to make him walk the plank. Still, though, triplets have to always back each other up. They understood that. We all did.

My mom sighed before bending down so that she was at our level. Grown-ups seemed way too tall back then. "Alright," she agreed, reaching out to hug Adam. Although he looked a bit reluctant, he let her hug him. She hugged Byron next, who was looking on the verge of tears.

_It's just kindergarten_, I remember thinking, shaking my head as I wondered why Byron was so scared. We understood each other for the most part, but Byron sometimes confused me.

"Everything will be okay," she soothed him as I shared a look with Adam. He looked bored. "Mommy's just a phone call away, remember?"

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest. "_Mommy_?" I hissed, taking one step forward and looking around to make sure no one had overheard. "We don't say _Mommy_." For a second, I thought she was going to laugh, but she didn't. I continued as she gave me a questioning expression. "We're _five_ years old!" I explained as if it was the most logical thing in the world. "We're not little anymore."

"Oh, I see." She looked amused, which made me mad. I was being serious. "Mallory still calls me 'Mommy.'" she countered lightly, looking disappointed as she eyed the school. Did she not want us to go? Why not? She had four other kids at home.

"Mallory is a girl." Adam snorted. He was beginning to look a little more excited now. That was good. I wondered what suddenly changed his mind, though...

As if reading my thoughts, Adam caught my eye and pointed to something I hadn't noticed before. Off to the side of the school was the biggest playground I had ever seen. It had slides and swings and a see-saw, and...

My eyes widened and a smile spread across my face, the argument with my mother forgotten. My new school had a baseball diamond.

"Can we go now?" I asked my mom urgently, planning on running off to play baseball instead of going to class. There were plenty of kids here. I was pretty sure the teacher wouldn't notice a few missing.

"Yeah, Mom!" Adam added, glancing at the baseball diamond as if he was thinking the same thing I was. "We'll see you later!"

Mom laughed and released Byron, who didn't look quite as nervous as before. Still, he wasn't jumping up and down like Adam and me. She frowned as she noticed what had us so excited. "Boys," she began gently as she walked toward the school. I guess she wasn't going to let us go in alone. I followed her, knowing she wasn't going to change her mind. "I think baseball is for the bigger kids. You all could get hurt."

Adam scoffed. "We don't get hurt." he insisted, looking at Mom as if she was an idiot. "We play baseball all the time!"

"The other kids are bigger," she reminded us. "You all will have your turn."

There wasn't any use in arguing with her right now, so I didn't. Instead, I began plotting how to get my turn _today_. If I could sneak out of the classroom...

"Here we are!" Mom announced, stopping outside of a classroom a minute or two later. "You all can walk in by yourselves from here if you want to." she offered, sharing a look with a tall, old woman that was standing inside. I decided she was probably the teacher. She was too old do be anyone else. Adam and I both refused to let Mom hug us again. There were too many possible witnesses lurking around for that. I strutted into the classroom, feeling extremely confident in myself. I heard Adam and Byron following a few steps behind me, but didn't look back to see their expressions as we entered.

I stopped once I was near the center of the classroom, and my brothers caught up to me. I glanced around wondering what we should do. I had decided we should probably stay in the classroom for at least a little while before sneaking off to check out the baseball diamond. Or else we might run into our mom again or something -- or maybe our dad, who was walking Mallory to her new first grade classroom. Mom and Dad had gotten someone else to watch all of my other siblings. Maybe we'd just play a few games in here and then...

I was cut out of my thoughts by the sound of someone gasping. "Look!" a girl's voice exclaimed. I follwed the source of the voice and my eyes landed on a girl with two blonde pigtails. Her eyes were wide and she looked excited about something. I glanced around in confusion, wondering what she was talking about.

"Wow." a few kids breathed, sounding just as awed.

I was beginning to get frustrated. Why didn't I get what was going on?

It was in that moment that I realized they were staring at _me_. Or.... _us_?

"What?!" I finally snapped at all of the boys and girls that were gawking at us. They didn't look sorry for staring. That bugged me. Finally, a brown-haired boy stepped forward. "There are _three _of you!" he informed me gleefully. He looked from me to Adam to Byron, and then back to me again.

"No there aren't." I insisted, satisfied that all of the attention was on me. "We're identical triplets." I informed him proudly.

"What does 'identical' mean?" one of the kids asked in confusion.

"It means that they all look exactly the same on the outside, even though they're very different people on the inside." I saw the teacher approaching. She smiled at me as she noticed that I was looking at her and came to stand next to us. "I'm Ms. Booker." she explained politely. "Would you three like to tell everyone what your names are?"

"Pike, Jordan Pike." I was the first to answer, as always. I had been the leader every since I had led Adam and Byron out of the womb (how's _that_ for being a natural leader?) and no one ever questioned it.

"James Bond?" The teacher asked in surprise, laughing.

I shrugged. My dad watched those movies all the time.

Adam and Byron introduced themselves next, and then the teacher explained to everyone about how special triplets are. I was pretty surprised at first because I didn't know there weren't tons of other people like us, but the more I thought about it... the less shocked I was. I had always known I was special, afterall. Normal kids weren't as good-looking as me.

Ms. Booker made everyone else introduce themselves then, and I pretended to care. After that, she showed us all where our desks were and then told us we could play in the room for a little while before we began our lesson.

Adam nudged me. "I told you they were going to make us learn!" he complained, glaring. "We'd better get out of here before it starts!"

I nodded seriously and turned to my other brother. "You coming, By?" I asked, gesturing to the door. He hesitated. I quickly shot a glance up at the teacher, but she wasn't looking at us. Sighing in relief, I continued, "Hurry up and make up your mind before she notices! We need to sneak out while she's not looking."

Byron looked at both of us before shaking his head apologetically. "I can't get in trouble on the very first day." he explained.

"Suit yourself." Adam and I shrugged, then hurried out of the room. We'd have to convince By to come with us next time when we got back, but we didn't have any time to waste then.

We ran down the hallway as quickly as we could manage and exchanged devious smirks as we saw a set of double doors. Our escape route. Before we could think about it anymore, we dashed in the direction of the doors. They were pretty heavy, but we managed to easily open them together.

The first thing I noticed as we sprinted out of the school was that another class was already on the playground. A first grade class, because I recognized one of Mallory's friends. Luckily, however, it wasn't the class Mal was in. She would have tattled to Mom and Dad for sure. I was almost positive we weren't supposed to sneak out of school on our first day of kindergarten, afterall.

The baseball diamond, for some reason, was empty. Maybe the first graders were too little to play on it at school, too? "Want to go check it out?" I asked Adam, knowing he understood what I was talking about by the direction I was staring in.

"Sure." Adam decided, but then added, "what about bats and balls, though? We didn't bring any with us."

Uh-oh. I hadn't thought about that. "We can just check it out today." I explained, pretending like I had already thought this through. "Then next time we'll know to bring our stuff."

This plan seemed to work for Adam. Then again, he probably would have gone along with anything as long as it got him out of the classroom before the "learning" started.

"Race you!" Adam shouted out. He took off at top speed and I did the same. We laughed as we both tried to outrun the other, then finally arrived at the baseball diamond.

"I win!" we announced simultaneously, collapsing on the ground in a heap. We laughed hysterically, realizing we had both said the same thing at the same time.

"No, I won!" we both yelled again, sending us into another round.

"Aw, look at the two little bookends!" a voice sneered.

Adam and I instantly stopped laughing and looked up, immediately spotting a blonde boy standing over us. He couldn't have been more than a year or two older than us, yet seemed to think he was far better. I felt my blood begin to boil.

"What do you want?" I snapped, rising to my feet and standing as tall as I could. He was still taller than me, but i pretended like I didn't care.

"From you?" he retorted, acting as if I was being ridiculous. "Nothing. Your teacher is probably wondering where you two are, though... I'm sure she'll be _very_ interested to know where the two little bookends ran off to..."

"We're allowed to be here." I lied. I had decided I didn't like this kid. He seemed mean.

"I doubt it." his voice was flat as he rolled his eyes in disbelief. "My name is M-I-K-E, by the way." he spelled, a strong hint of superiority in his tone.

I concentrated, trying to think of what that spelled. I could spell my own name, of course. Adam's and Byron's too, but...

Oh, if I could just see it on paper...

"Ah." M-I-K-E added knowingly, probably noticing my lack of comprehension when he spelled his name. "Kindergarteners. I knew it."

"Go away." Adam demanded. He had risen to his feet as well, probably at the same time I did. "Just leave us alone."

"I'm afraid I can't." he didn't even bother pretending to sound apologetic. "We can't have two little kids running around."

Rather than pointing out that he wasn't much older himself, I punched him. He pushed me back roughly, and I fell down on the grass. He was looking too proud of himself, so I pushed him back, and then Adam kicked him. It was his turn to fall.

The teacher that was outside noticed us then, and came to separate us. She sent us back to our classroom and told our teacher what had happened, who promised to tell our mom. I knew we were going to be in big trouble, but I didn't care. All of the other kids were impressed that Adam and I had actually already snuck out of school and gotten into a fight -- with an older boy, at that. They treated us like we were kings or something.

That's when I realized: I was already one of the cool kids. So what... so far I was only a cool kindergartener. One day, however, we would all be fifth graders and rule the school. The playground was as good as ours.

**A/N**: SO glad I have this chapter over with. It's much easier to use Jordan's "voice" when I'm writing him a bit older. The next chapter will be focused on third grade. Sorry it's sucky... it's a bit challenging to write a kindergarten story, lol.


End file.
